Today I went to see a Community Mental Health Specialist (my that sounds awfully dramatic!) It was an assessment for counselling. I have decided that now is the time to face the abuse that I received as a child head on! I was sexually abused by my brother’s best friend. I believe it has a lot to do with my single state. It affects my attitude to men and my subconscious vibes. I have been told before that when I am on my own I give off a ‘hands off’ air! However now is the time to allow myself the chance to move forward leaving all that behind me!!
It was really strange, I wasn't nervous and the meeting went very well and I was very calm both during and after, though it was very tiring. It will be a week or so until I know what help I'm being assigned and I will share what happens on my blog so you can follow my progress! I hope this inspires you to face your gremlins too.
The way I see it, although I hate being single and watching the years go by without the answer to my hearts desire, I need to use this time to make me the best possible me I can be. It is an opportunity to face my problems and fears and conquer them! Marriage is hard enough without carrying in a lot of emotional baggage!
I have also started working through a book called 'Mind Over Mood'. It has really helped me in just the first chapter to pull together all the problems I have in my past and the effects they have had on me. It helped me prepare for my counselling assessment and I believed that was why I was so calm. It shows you how your environment changes and life situations have an affect on your physical health, moods, behaviour, and thoughts and how by making changes in just one of those areas affects all the other areas! There are worksheets in the book to enable you to apply what you are reading to your own life. I highly recommend it.
I do hope you will follow my progress and find the strength to face your fears or help someone to face theirs!