I know it has been a while since I wrote my last Blog. I told you I wasn't any good at keeping daily diaries! It also helps when you know people are actually reading it!
I have been really struggling with being single since I last wrote and one night when I was feeling really lonely and I was struggling to sleep a few lines of a poem or song came to me and I had to get up and write them down. The rest of the Psalm followed and I would like to share it with you in the hope it will encourage you as it has me.
Lonely, I'm Lonely
Without you here
Only, I'm only
Alone when you're not near
Hurting, I'm Hurting
Through trouble and strife
Searching, I'm Searching
Your will in my life
Teach me, Oh Teach me
To wait on you Lord
Help me, Oh Help me
To trust in your Word
For you, oh Lord, know me inside and out
You know my dreams without any doubt
You see the whole picture, You are the key
Your plans are the best of life for me
Keep me on your narrow path, show me the way
Lead me, Oh Lead me day by day by day.
Feel free to share this with your friends if you wish. I want to see Gods kingdom furthered and am not concerned with personal gain.
I was feeling very depressed when I wrote this but as wretched as I felt I could not write a poem with out any hope or reflection of my trust in God even when so often I struggle to keep that trust. I want you to know that whatever troubles you are going through I understand how hard it is for you to keep hoping and trusting God. I have failed so often in that and cried out to God. Does he even hear? Why does he not answer? Why is it that I seem so unimportant to Him? I don't have the answers to why God should take his time answering our prayers, our dreams, the desires that burn our very hearts but I can share with you that even in this time of endless waiting God is revealing more of his desires to me, for me. That I am right to keep waiting, hoping, praying and to wait for Him to do it in His way, His time even though I wonder why I wait so faithfully. He is a God of honour and He will honour our sacrifices for Him. Many time have I cried for God to do something, hurry up, I have tried to be open to different ways God could lead me to my husband even going onto Christian dating internet sites. You know maybe God wants me to do something before He will. I have given up on the dating sites. They are just another place to feel rejected and I don't believe that for me that is where God wants me to be. So I am back here, unable to do anything for myself and trusting, trusting God to write me a beautiful, romantic, perfect, GODLY love story.
My God is a God of miracles and over the last couple of years my friends have been receiving God's miracles in the form of babies that without God they couldn't have had. I believe it is time for us to rise up in prayer and claim God's miracles in our lives in the form of our perfect partner! (please don't think I'm looking for a perfect man. I'm looking for the man who is perfect for me!) Join me today to say to God "Rise up mighty men and women who are faithful to you and your word and bring them to us that we might see the perfect miracle from you in our lives. That this trial of singleness will finally end!" Amen