Oh No! Not Valentines Day Again!

Valentines day again! That day when most singles feel like life isn't worth living if they haven't got a date or at the very least one valentines card!!! I have never received a valentines card in my life! Sooo depressing!!

I was chatting to a friend today and she was telling me that Americans have valentines cards for all kinds of relationships, friends, family etc and it made me think that Valentines day should be a day that celebrates all kinds of Love not just romantic Love!

So I would like to tell my parents and family how much I love them, how much I appreciate all they do and have ever done for me. For taking me back in when I got poorly and looking after me and always being there for me and loving me!

To my friends I love you all very much! Thank you for all the support you give me and for always being there! You all have such very special gifts and I am proud to be your friend!

I'm not feeling very down today although I am very tired having had a change in medication for depression. Apparently they make you sleepy!

Moving Forward

Today I went to see a Community Mental Health Specialist (my that sounds awfully dramatic!) It was an assessment for counselling. I have decided that now is the time to face the abuse that I received as a child head on! I was sexually abused by my brother’s best friend. I believe it has a lot to do with my single state. It affects my attitude to men and my subconscious vibes. I have been told before that when I am on my own I give off a ‘hands off’ air! However now is the time to allow myself the chance to move forward leaving all that behind me!!

It was really strange, I wasn't nervous and the meeting went very well and I was very calm both during and after, though it was very tiring. It will be a week or so until I know what help I'm being assigned and I will share what happens on my blog so you can follow my progress! I hope this inspires you to face your gremlins too.

The way I see it, although I hate being single and watching the years go by without the answer to my hearts desire, I need to use this time to make me the best possible me I can be. It is an opportunity to face my problems and fears and conquer them! Marriage is hard enough without carrying in a lot of emotional baggage!

I have also started working through a book called 'Mind Over Mood'. It has really helped me in just the first chapter to pull together all the problems I have in my past and the effects they have had on me. It helped me prepare for my counselling assessment and I believed that was why I was so calm. It shows you how your environment changes and life situations have an affect on your physical health, moods, behaviour, and thoughts and how by making changes in just one of those areas affects all the other areas! There are worksheets in the book to enable you to apply what you are reading to your own life. I highly recommend it.

I do hope you will follow my progress and find the strength to face your fears or help someone to face theirs!

The Jewel In My Crown

I was talking to a friend last night and one thing we talked about was the need for honesty. How can a guy know a girl likes him if the girl doesn't tell him? Well I am going to be honest with you as I have been increasingly so with my friends and family because I believe it is important for people to be able to talk about subjects that may be embarrassing.

When I was in school I made up having a boyfriend when I was 12 because if I had admitted that I didn't have one I would have been teased dreadfully. By 16 I was warding off comments about my sexual activity by refusing to answer because If I admitted to being a virgin, I would never have lived it down and trust me they had enough to make fun of me without me adding fuel to the fire! So how about this for fuel? I am 34 and still a virgin! (Now if you're a guy reading this that was not an invitation or a challenge!) I am still a virgin because I have not had the blessing of a husband and I decided long ago that I would follow Gods Word and give myself to only one man, my husband! Unfortunately, I am still waiting, crying to God for answers as to why I am still single and waiting, patiently, impatiently but always faithfully!

Well a couple of nights ago as I was thinking about a friend of mine. In total honesty I told him I was a virgin and he said to me that being a virgin was a very desirable trait to a man and he wasn't a Christian. As I was thinking about that I realised that my virginity is not something to be ashamed of but in fact it is 'THE JEWEL IN MY CROWN'

Psalm for the Lonely

Hi,

I know it has been a while since I wrote my last Blog. I told you I wasn't any good at keeping daily diaries! It also helps when you know people are actually reading it!

I have been really struggling with being single since I last wrote and one night when I was feeling really lonely and I was struggling to sleep a few lines of a poem or song came to me and I had to get up and write them down. The rest of the Psalm followed and I would like to share it with you in the hope it will encourage you as it has me.

Lonely, I'm Lonely

Without you here

Only, I'm only

Alone when you're not near

Hurting, I'm Hurting

Through trouble and strife

Searching, I'm Searching

Your will in my life

Teach me, Oh Teach me

To wait on you Lord

Help me, Oh Help me

To trust in your Word

For you, oh Lord, know me inside and out

You know my dreams without any doubt

You see the whole picture, You are the key

Your plans are the best of life for me

Keep me on your narrow path, show me the way

Lead me, Oh Lead me day by day by day.

Feel free to share this with your friends if you wish. I want to see Gods kingdom furthered and am not concerned with personal gain.

I was feeling very depressed when I wrote this but as wretched as I felt I could not write a poem with out any hope or reflection of my trust in God even when so often I struggle to keep that trust. I want you to know that whatever troubles you are going through I understand how hard it is for you to keep hoping and trusting God. I have failed so often in that and cried out to God. Does he even hear? Why does he not answer? Why is it that I seem so unimportant to Him? I don't have the answers to why God should take his time answering our prayers, our dreams, the desires that burn our very hearts but I can share with you that even in this time of endless waiting God is revealing more of his desires to me, for me. That I am right to keep waiting, hoping, praying and to wait for Him to do it in His way, His time even though I wonder why I wait so faithfully. He is a God of honour and He will honour our sacrifices for Him. Many time have I cried for God to do something, hurry up, I have tried to be open to different ways God could lead me to my husband even going onto Christian dating internet sites. You know maybe God wants me to do something before He will. I have given up on the dating sites. They are just another place to feel rejected and I don't believe that for me that is where God wants me to be. So I am back here, unable to do anything for myself and trusting, trusting God to write me a beautiful, romantic, perfect, GODLY love story.

My God is a God of miracles and over the last couple of years my friends have been receiving God's miracles in the form of babies that without God they couldn't have had. I believe it is time for us to rise up in prayer and claim God's miracles in our lives in the form of our perfect partner! (please don't think I'm looking for a perfect man. I'm looking for the man who is perfect for me!) Join me today to say to God "Rise up mighty men and women who are faithful to you and your word and bring them to us that we might see the perfect miracle from you in our lives. That this trial of singleness will finally end!" Amen

Dear friends I hope that you will find God's peace through these words I have shared with you today and that you will know God's perfect will in your life. God be with you 'til next time

Singles diary day 2

Hi Again,

Well I would say that this is a good start, making it to day 2, but my computer is running about 3 seconds behind me so I have to keep waiting for it to catch up so I can read what I have written. I Have closed down a couple of programs that were running to see if that has helped and now it s only 1 second behind me! lol! This is going to be fun!

So how has your day been? I had to go and see the doctor today about my cough and she has put me on a medication that will probably make me sleep lots and I am not sure if that is a good thing or not! Then my mum and I did a little Christmas Shopping for some presents for My nephew and nieces and some for friends. Still have loads to get but need to get well first!

I spoke my doctor about referring me for counselling over an unresolved issue from my childhood that may be affecting my relationship with men. Anyone else out here identify with this issue? I'm sharing this because I think there are a lot of people out there who are , Like me, struggling but don't know how to talk about it or don't have anyone to talk to.

I know, we are Christians, we have God but God never works like we want him to or think he should and that causes us to struggle in our faith alongside the issue of being single.

Are we supposed to rely on God to guide our steps and lead us to our perfect mate? Or are we supposed to try out every guy/girl we meet because God 'helps those who help themselves' ? (it doesn't say that anywhere in the bible by the way folks!) Or is there some road in the middle that we need to walk on and how do we know it is the right path or if we have met the right person for us?And is it possible that we have met them but freewill (theirs or ours) got in the way?

If you are asking yourself any or all of these questions then come and join me in debating them and at the same time building friendships that are safe and supportive.

I don't have all the answers to these questions any more than you do but I hope that we can help each other find a way through this difficult, painful waiting time!

I ve spent the last 15 years praying for the right man for me. I have gone to church ,been involved in church activities, travelled to different places and attended different churches, moved 400 miles (I did feel it was the move God wanted me to make), joined an online Christian dating agency and still I'm single! Why?

That is why I am considering counselling Because I don't want my past to be interfering with my future.

On this day, I urge you to look at your life. If the perfect person was in front of you now. How would you feel? Are you ready or would you wish to change things about you? Be thinner, more confident, tidier, more careful about what you said and how you said it? A lot of these are my personal goals and the one I am working on now is trying to swear less (or at least use innocuous words like "drat", "sausages" and "flipping Nora" is my latest not cool but I'm not ashamed of them either)

Romans 12 v 2 says " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" popularised by the saying "Go against the flow"! That is what I intend to do. Not caring about what the world thinks but about what God thinks and what my future husband would think and about being myself and being true to myself!

Are you with me?

Let me know!

I pray that God will give us the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change

Courage to change the things we can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

God Bless,

Teri xx

Being a Christian Single in Today's World

Hi There,

Well this is a new line of Blogging for me.

I am a Christian Single who believes that we should live by the bibles teaching which means no sex outside marriage and God's will in our lives which brings me to my problem. Being 34 single, childless and currently, due to health problems problems, jobless.

I don't know about you but that all sounds rather depressing. And do you know what? It is!!!

So I have determined to write this blog on my feelings and how I am coping with them in the hope that maybe others out there might find it helpful especially in knowing that if you feel like this you are not alone!!!

Come and visit this Blog and tell me how you are doing and maybe by joining together in our united singleness we might be able to find more of God's will in our lives and even more importantly support for each other.

I am going to try and write daily but forgive me if I don't keep it up! I've never been good at daily journaling!

So after that intro, here's todays offering....

well I am suffering with a nasty cold and cough and that is making me feel rather poorly and with that comes a lot of time thinking and getting down about life and where it is going!!! Last night I told God I didn't want to go to any more weddings until I have been to my own!!! then I remembered my friend is getting married next year! Maybe I could get married before her but I have to say that seems very unlikely!!!

I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding as well this evening which I'm sure you would agree is a bit silly but I didn't cry too much! lol!

I am now watching a worship dvd while I type this in the hope that it will minister to and relax me before going to sleep.

I'm going to sign off for now so that I can post this and see if I can get some sleep.

God bless you, friends